10 Historical Bizarre Deaths
5. John Kendrick
How? By a salute from his friend.
John Kendrick was an American sea captain descended from a long line of seafaring men. A patriot, John was one of the men who dumped tea in the Boston harbor to demonstrate our distaste for taxation without representation. After commanding several ships during the war and making a name for himself as a fierce naval fighter, he went back to whaling and fur trading. He was later commissioned as an American explorer and given a ship, the Columbia. Accompanied by the Lady Washington, which he eventually wound up commanding, he set sail from America on a mission of discovery. Many years later, several American ships, including the Lady Washington and the Jackal, a ship whose captain was known for his distaste of Captain Kendrick, helped a Hawaiian chief defeat a rival tribe for the island that is now Honolulu. After the battle, the two ships saluted one another in victory by firing their cannons. Unfortunately, the other ship, The Jackal, had loaded a real volley and a round hit The Lady Washington, killing Captain Kendrick and his staff. Coincidence? You decide.
4. Humphrey de Bohun
Image Credits: Sigma18
How? Speared through the anus.
Humphrey de Bohun was involved in many battles with the Scots over the course of his life, mostly victorious although after one particularly nasty defeat against Robert the Bruce, he had to go into self-exile, losing his lands and titles. His death was a very nasty one and I pray that I do not have to go through this when my time comes. While leading a charge over a wooden bridge in Boroughbridge, Yorkshire, an enemy Scot, hidden under the bridge, thrust his spear up and skewered Bohun through the anus and into his body cavity. His screams of agony were so great that they un-nerved his troops, forcing them into retreat. The day was lost along with his virginity.
3. Sigurd the Mighty
How? Killed by his dead enemy’s bad dental hygiene.
Siguad’s death is one of irony and proof positive that justice always finds a way in the end. Sigurd was a mighty leader and fierce warrior. During his last campaign, he challenged his enemy, Mael Brigte, the Buck-Toothed to a 40 on 40-man battle to decide their war. Sigurd then cheated, bringing 80 men–he defeating Brigte the Buck-toothed and won the day. Not one to leave well enough alone, Sigurd strapped his enemy’s head to his saddle and rode in front of the dead, buck-toothed leaders people to show how great Sigurd thought he was. Unfortunately, while riding around with the head, the dead man’s buckteeth scraped against Sigurd the idiots leg so often that it caused a scratch, which became infected and killed Sigurd within weeks. If only Sigurd the unfortunate had used a spike instead of strapping the man’s buck-toothed head between his legs, he may have lived just a bit longer.
2. Jack Daniel
How? By forgeting his safe’s combination.
Jack Daniel is famous for Jack Daniel’s, the sour mash that is the life and death of many parties across the world. Jack did not have a head for numbers and this was his undoing. He went to work early one morning and in a fit of frustration, kicked his safe when he could not get it open. He could not remember the combination and usually left this task to his nephew, whom he had hired to keep the books. The big toe on his foot became infected and he died. His last words were to request a final drink. Many experts believe he would have lived had he known that alcohol would have warded off an infection if he had soaked his foot in it. If there was anyone on the planet that had access to alcohol, it was Jack Daniels.
1. Franz Reichelt
How? By seeing too many Superman movies.
Franz Reichelt is the inventor of the parachute and parachuting. Need I say more? Well, I will anyway. He would throw practice dummies off the roof of his five-story building but claimed that any failures he experienced were due to the lack of height. After many years of partitioning the government for use of the Eiffel Tower, he was finally given permission and many people, including the media and cameras of the day were in attendance. He announced that he was so confident in his theory that he would not be using a dummy and would jump off the tower himself and land gracefully for the entire world to see. His landing was as graceful as it could be considering he was moving at 115 miles per hour when he hit the ground. The chute did not open.