10 Stupid (what else) Darwin Award Winners
‘Survival of the Fittest’ states that those best suited to their environment will have a better chance of survival and will therefore pass on his genes to the next generation. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) human advancements in science, medicine and technology have countered the effects of survival of the fittest in Homo sapiens, meaning that any moron is free to survive and pass on his moron genes to his moron offspring. But wait all is not lost, as long as there is stupidity, there will be people taking themselves out of the gene pool in a range of idiotic antics and accidents. Yes it’s the Darwin Awards and here’s my top ten favorites.
10. Shockingly Stupid
Brazilian municipal guard, Arthur de Souza Coelho, was tired of the frequent car robberies that took place in his neighborhood. So what was his genius solution to protect his car? Put a small electric fence around his automobile of course. Seems like a pretty decent idea, unless you forget about the said fence and leave it on. Yes, Arthur wasn’t the brightest penny; he left his fence on, forgot about it and died of electrocution. What an idiot!
9. Roasted Nuts?
A seriously feckless 17-year old from Pennsylvania with horrific injuries told police he sustained them when an explosive device hidden in his backpack by unknown persons detonated. The teenager had actually found an M-80 explosive at a relative’s house and decided to take it home so he could repeatedly light and extinguish the fuse on the powerful explosive. Wait, as hard as it is to believe he gets even more stupid. After many times of lighting the fuse, he found that on one occasion he couldn’t put it out. So instead of retreating to a safe distance, this moron planted the M-80 between his thighs and covered it with his hand, losing his hand, his right leg and his ability to reproduce, taking himself out of the gene pool…thankfully.
8. More Bang for your Gum
A 25-year-old chemistry student from Russia, who certainly should have known better, had a rather unusual habit of storing his chewing gum in citric acid flavor liquid he had squirreled away from the lab. Maybe he liked the nice citrus tang it provided, or maybe he was just a bit of a simpleton. One day while working in his computer at home, paying little attention to the stolen chemicals around him, he dropped his chewing gum into an unidentified substance and back in his mouth. BANG!! A loud pop was heard coming from his room as the lower part of his face was blown off. The explosive chemical was never identified, so let this be a warning to you kids, be extra vigilant because it is obviously very easy to confuse highly toxic chemicals for a tasty treat.
7. Bee-at That!
A Brazilian farmer, tired of the beehive in his orange tree, decided he would remove the hive himself. He had no clue on how to remove a beehive but that didn’t stop him. He somehow knew that bees do sting and figured the hive should be burned. So to protect his delicate head from troublesome bee stings and smoke he tied a plastic bag around his head and set the beehive alight. However, the plastic bag also “protected” him from oxygen and he suffocated to death. If you are going to fight bees with a plastic bag on your head, put holes in the bag at least…be slightly less on an idiot.
6. Upside down Kick
A 23-year-old bar-brawler, who had clearly took too many hits to the head, who had been forcibly removed from the Turtle Club in Florida by a bouncer, crept back in and leaped off a staircase aiming his kick at another man. But, he was killed when the idiot took one last hit on his head when he landed on it.