Mega Facts about Chuck Norris

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One of the greatest Martial artists around the block and for that matter, the World. Chuck Norris has been the target of inumerous jokes and “facts” that translate into impossible feats of strenght and toughness, while he is indeed a tough guy i can only imagine what it’s like to have your name associated with that kind of funny misinformation. Hey, it could be worst if the jokes were about how wimpy or coward a man can be. Anyway, here’s our contribution to this never ending “fact” exchange that goes around and around the Interwebs. Let us have your suggestions in the comments, if they are good we’ll add them to this neverending list.

1. There is no Theory of Evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity… Twice!!

3. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

4. The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

5. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

6. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

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7. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

8. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t foolish enough to attack him.

9. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

10. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known as Giraffes.

11. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of elements, Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

12. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

13. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

14. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

15. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper. The only problem was it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.

16. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.

17. Google won’t search for Chuck Norris. It knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

19. When Chuck Norris was born, only the Doctor cryed. Never Slap Chuck Norris.

20. There are only 2 things that can cut Diamonds: Other Diamonds and Chuck Norris.

 

21. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds. Walk and Kill.

22. What happens when the Unstoppable Force meets the Inmovable Object? They mate and give birth to Chuck Norris.

23. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

24. What was the last thing in the mind of a Chuck Norris’ victim before he dies? His shoe.

25. There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

26. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

27. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

28. He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

29. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

30. Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned it would be possible for two Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to meet. This contact would possibly end the universe.

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