Mega Facts about Chuck Norris

31. Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

32. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

33. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.

34. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

35. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

36. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

37. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

38. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

39. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

40. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.


41. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They actually made him blink.

42. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

43. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

44. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of Tennis.

45. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

46. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass… at night.

47. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

48. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

49. Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

50. When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he racks open a chicken.

51. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once, to Grave with you.

52. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, Chuck Norris beats all.

53. When you say “no one’s perfect”, make sure Chuck Norris is not nearby.

54. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.


55. Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

56. Newton’s Third law is wrong: for every action there is an opposite reaction. There is no strong enough reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

57. Chuck Norris never goes to a dentist, his teeth are perfect. His enemies don’t go either, their teeth are nowhere to be found.

58. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake, before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

59. Chuck Norris doesn’t step on toes, only on necks.

60. Love doesn’t hurt, Chuck Norris does.

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