Top 10 Disgusting Exotic Jobs
5. Road Kill Collector
I bet she found the moose’s dick, I can tell by the smile.
Every year, hundreds of thousands of animals are struck and killed on our planet’s roadways. Somebody has to collect these carcasses from our streets. Once upon a blue moon, nature’s scavengers could do the job, creeping from the woods or spiraling down from the sky to clean up our mess. Now, however, with around three million miles of paved roads in America alone, we cannot depend on nature to stop the spread of stench and disease that occurs from fatal road kills. With 241 million cars registered in the U.S. there several thousand animals killed by cars every day. Enter the Road Kill Collector. While scraping the corpses of dead animals off pavement may not sound like the dream job, someone has to do it. Unless road kill stew becomes a dietary staple, these jobs are here to stay.
4. Tampon Squeezer
Now here is a job that men just should not try. You may never look at your wife or girlfriend the same way again. Being a used tampon squeezer is gross and disgusting and gives a man the heebie-jeebies quicker than a whole room full of snakes. In fact, most men would rather squeeze a poisonous snake than a blood-dripping tampon. A microbiologist named Suzanne Garland is working on epidemiological studies of women with sexually transmitted diseases in Australia with her team at the Royal Women’s Hospital. They have discovered that the best specimens can be obtained from the blood in used tampons instead of the old-fashioned urine tests and scrapes. Also, the women involved in the study cooperate much more willingly when tampons are used rather than invasive medical procedures. Unfortunately, the blood can only be extracted by putting on a pair of gloves and squeezing the blood from the tampon.
If I were the one who had to do it, it would be more than a pair of gloves. I would have to have a radiation suit and some tools like pliers. I’d hold that sucker in a paint rolling pan and run a rolling pin over it to squeeze the juice out if it and then I would let it drain into a bucket while I throw up.
3. Barnyard Masturbator
Absolutely, without a doubt, one of the most disgusting jobs on the planet is that of the farm sperm collector. This job requires specialized tools such as the electric anus prod, the artificial animal vagina, and a whole slew of wet-naps as sweet talk your way between large horny animals to collect your prize. It might be wise not to dress in a color that could confuse the male of whatever species you are “working with” at the time. If its sheep, do not wear white. Bring along some smokes for after the dirty deed and brush up on your pillow talk and you should be fine.
2. Forensic Entomologist
Lucky corpses get sexy Entomologists
Entomology is the study of insects. That does not sound so bad, now does it? As a Forensic Entomologist, your primary job would be to study the insects like maggots that have invaded dead and rotting corpses to figure how long they had been dead and possibly what killed them. You could be called to the morgue to examine insects found inside a body during an autopsy or to a crime scene where the rotting body has been found in the woods with maggots crawling out of its eyes and worms eating the putrid flesh. Then, perhaps you would have a nice lunch at the local greasy spoon. I will have Spaghetti and a hamburger, raw please.
If you are looking through the want ads and come across this job you might dream of standing around waiting for some rich old lady to need her pillow fluffed. Perhaps you go behind the housekeepers at a hotel and fluff up all the pillows and leave behinds those little mints. Sounds like a nice job to have. Take my word for it; you will not be combing poodles as a fluffer. This is the person who gets male porn stars in the mood when it is time for their next take. After 8 hours of porno movie making, those porn stars get somewhat messy as well. It would be your job to clean them up. If you’re a woman, it may not be disgusting at all. If you’re a man, this better be your worst nightmare. I will let your imagination tell you how these tasks are performed. Let’s just say that if you are good at it, they might make you a star!